For many Americans who struggle with weight, it comes to no surprise that sugar is often at the core of our weight loss problems. Whether it be the taste, the pleasure, or both, it is safe to say that we are at war with sugar; the legal, lethal weapon that destroys bodies in more ways than one. As an overweight American, I have fallen victim to this never-ending trap of sugar addiction and I am paying the price in ways that I may not yet know.
What started this craving for sugar and fatty foods? If you have not delved into therapy to find out your deepest memories, chances are you may not ever know the true cause of your addiction. However, like drug addiction, it is important that us addicts come clean and fess up to our debilitating illness. We must clear our minds and find other avenues to release the stress or pain, or shame, or whatever it may be that we each deal with. If we do not get to the core of our problems, it is likely that we will never break the addiction. I know I struggle with stress and each time I find myself engulfed in work stress or economic stress, I find my hand digging deeper into the cookie jar. Although I struggle, I keep telling myself that I will continue to work on making things right with my body.
I wake up each morning with a renewed sense of purpose and drive to kick the habit. By the time I have made my way to the kitchen for my sugar ladened coffee drink, I have already lost the battle. I say to myself, “Well, it is just one cup of coffee with cream and sugar; you will be fine.” My mind absolutely believes it… until I enter the teachers’ lounge at school, where boxes of donuts are waiting for the taking. It is then that I bargain with myself that if only I take one, surely I will be ok, and not be tempted the rest of the day. However, come lunch time, there are still donuts lingering and well, by now, I have lost all control and have one more. What the heck, right? I just had some rough hours where kids were acting up and lessons were taking nose dives as students stared glassy-eyed wondering what the heck I was even talking about. I needed a sugar fix and I was hell bound on getting it. Why not buy a soda from the machine too? Might as well accept the cookie a colleague is offering me, I have already blown my day anyway. Perhaps this would be ok if it were just that one day. But, it is not just that one day, it is every day and the more I try to talk myself out of it, the more I dig myself into this hole where sugar lays all around waiting for the taking. I’m drowning myself in sugar, and it’s addictiveness, and unfortunately, the symptoms that come with such a horrible disease.
It is a difficult battle, an almost certain white flag moment for me, each and every time, as I surrender myself to my addiction. I am an educated woman with a masters degree. I know what is right from wrong. I know what I should put into my body. Yet, day after day, I choose to put sugar into it, making it harder and harder for me to break this vicious cycle, as it cripples my body with pains, aches, and ailments I surely would not have if it were not for the consumption of sugar.
I am on a mission to get this right. I want to live to see my children grow old. I want to do things that I cannot do now, like run, climb, tumble, and go out in public without feeling self-conscious, not worry about fitting in places like airplane seats or desks at district training classes. I want these things and so I continue the fight.
Let’s encourage each other! Feel free to encourage…